quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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