so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We had to coat check the pizza.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
