Got a toothbrush?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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