How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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