i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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