my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
