What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
