when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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