i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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