I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
