I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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