Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize