She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
