My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
