your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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