sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
