ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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