I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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