The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
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You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
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I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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