Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize