ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
