I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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