I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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