You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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