you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
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Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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