New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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