This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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