we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
