Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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