She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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