A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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