What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
