dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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