a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
you would pick up someone in the library
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
