Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
