hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
