Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Randomize
