my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
