I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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