whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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