nut hugger
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
