Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
