she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
