I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
