apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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