I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
