the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
