Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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