It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
