She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
