batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Girls should come with a carfax report
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
