nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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