Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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