now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
