So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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